Facing the fear of being judged
image by spaceodisseyIn this week's podcast we are talking about the fear of being judged.
Points covered in this podcast:
- perfection and the fear of being judged
- when the fear of being judged comes from the inside
- the power of positive affirmation
- how to face your fears about "doing it anyway"
- dealing with the critic in your head
Ananga: We received a question on our facebook page this week about how to handle the fear of being judged, so I'd like to ask you for some guidance on that.
Shann: It can feel very uncomfortable when you want to express yourself but there is a part of you that is feeling insecure, or small, or concerned about what other people might think about you.
There are several things that can help with the fear of being judged: EFT and breathing exercises can be used to calm unwelcome feelings around judgement. But it's important to understand that this can be a very normal feeling, we all have moments where we feel uncomfortable with other people's perceptions of us and one of the ways to help that is to look at that insecurity - look at the part of you that is afraid and acknowledge it, breathe into it, send it some love and do it anyway!
Ananga: EFT Tapping can be very supportive when we feel afraid of being judged, and one powerful and creative way to do that is to make a positive affirmation about the situation, or person, that is causing you anxiety over being judged and then see what comes up in your mind in response.
For example, you could use an affirmation like: "I am willing to move forward with confidence and ease..." now see what your mind responds with - often it will be something like "yeah but..." or "what if..."
If you listen to your "buts" and "what ifs" and use them in an EFT tapping session you can feel more comfortable about moving forward and save your self a lot of anxiety.
Handling the Judge in Your Head
Sometimes we have a voice in our head that criticises and judges us. It knows just how to sound to have a devastating effect on our confidence. It might be our voice, it might be a mother-in-law, an old teacher, it could be anyone that can make us feel small.
A useful trick for dealing with our inner critic, courtesy of Tony Robbins, is to make that voice sound ridiculous by making it high and speeding it up. We often don't realise how much we can play with the voices and thoughts that assail us. But we can, we have a powerful imagination and intelligence that can help us change the way we feel about anything.
So next time you hear a critics voice in your head, stop sand play with it. Make it faster higher, make it sound like Minnie Mouse or someone else you are not going to take seriously.
Shann: Often the judge that is the most critical is ourselves, and when we find ourselves in that place of judgement, or comparison it's important to remember to be gentle with yourself and remember to apply the tools that can help you. Allow yourself the space to try some tapping, or to think it through and see if you really have any evidence that supports your fear. Do you have any solid proof that someone else really is going to judge you? Or is it a worry on your head with no evidence to support it.
Ananga: When inside feelings are causing you pain one very simple thing that can help is to get them out. You can do that by talking with a friend, or writing them down. When you get uncomfortable feelings outside they lose some of their intensity and you can start to look at them more objectively.
Listen to the full podcast here (if your browser doesn't show the podcast player please listen on iTunes)
Resources recommended in this podcast: