638: Why do I feel anxious when things are going well?
This week on the Anxiety Slayer podcast, we're discussing the fear of good things turning bad, or not lasting also known in some circles as waiting for the other shoe to drop.
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Notes from this week’s episode:
Rehearsing for what we fear
Facebook Group question: “*I struggle with what my counselor has called anticipatory grief, where I almost try to imagine the pain I'll feel at the loss of a loved one in the hope that it will prepare me. Needless to say this causes anxiety.*”
Ananga’s shares her experience with childhood anxiety and the dread of something happening to loved ones.
Shann shares her experience with workplace anxiety and consistently contemplating what could go sideways
Where does this anticipatory anxiety come from?
Sometimes this is a side that comes with general anxiety.
Sometimes we experience it in response to past trauma, where we may have been having a good day when something shocking happened.
Either way, there are things we can do to help us be in the moment and take in the good.
Practice gratitude in the moment
In this moment I’m grateful
In this moment I’m safe
All is well and I am safe -“You Can Heal Your Life” Louise Hay
All of life comes to me with ease, joy and glory - Access Consciousness
Take time in smaller doses, ask yourself can I relax into this minute in gratitude?
Watching our thought patterns
“Whatever a person frequently thinks and ponders upon, that becomes the inclination of our mind” ― Toni Bernhard, How to Wake Up
Ayurveda teaches this too, if we think fearful thoughts the mind becomes more fearful. That’s not an easy thing to change, but we can change it with practice.
Help via breathing
There is a direct relationship between the rate of our breathing, and our thoughts. When we learn to control our breath for even brief periods, it sends a message of calm to our mind.
When we practice over time, it conditions the body to be more relaxed and less anxious.
Dr. Andrew Weil recommends 4-7-8 breathing
breath in for 4 seconds
hold for 7 seconds
powerful exhale for 8 seconds
Repeat four times, twice a day.
“Avoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short run, but it will never make you feel less afraid.”
Leaning in
Practice presence and sitting in the moment. Dropping our shoulders, taking a breath and being with whatever is happening. We build strength in this practice. We learn to sit with what is and calm the chatter of fear around it.
We don’t know what the future will bring, but we won’t help ourselves handle it if we are already exhausted from living out our fears in our mind and nervous system.
Changing and challenging our “what if” thoughts
What if it’s going to be OK? We might not know, but this kind of what if feels a lot better and won’t exhaust us.
Tapping
Try the guided session in our free course or follow one of our many guided sessions on our Patreon.
Learn more about Ayurveda on our Patreon along with over 100 guided relaxations, Tapping sessions and teachings for calming anxiety Patreon.com/anxietyslayer