620: Setting boundaries to ease social anxiety
This week on the Anxiety Slayer podcast we’re talking about how to set healthy boundaries to ease social anxiety. Setting healthy boundaries is an act of self-love and can reduce anxiety and contribute to more peace in your life.
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Notes from this week’s episode:
The definition of a boundary is a line that separates me from you, it’s “where I end and you begin”.
We have boundaries around our homes, but we often struggle to define and maintain them around ourselves.
Boundaries are needed around our physical space, thoughts and beliefs. Everything personal to us is contained within our personal boundary.
Different types of boundaries:
Physical: our personal space, and privacy
Mental: our thoughts, beliefs, values, choices, and opinions
Emotional: our emotions and personal feelings
Physical boundaries are more obvious and usually easier to uphold, but our mental and emotional boundaries are equally important especially when we’re trying to manage stress and anxiety.
Why we need boundaries
Healthy boundaries reduce anxiety by supporting self-respect and the right to express ourselves and our needs.
They give us the freedom to live our life as we see fit based on our personal beliefs and values. Healthy boundaries honor and support our free will.
Boundaries protect us from control/being controlled by others.
Lack of healthy boundaries can lead to increased anxiety, overwhelm.
Living without boundaries leaves us open to the expectations of others.
The absence of boundaries can also cause resentment as we may look back on an event or exchange where we feel we weren’t respected.
“How people respond to my boundaries isn’t my responsibility”
Some quotes for reflection on boundaries from Dr Nicole LePera author of “How to Meet Yourself: the workbook for self-discovery”
"How people respond to my boundaries isn’t my responsibility."
"I do not need to always answer the phone or respond to texts immediately. I will respond when I have the energy.”
"Meeting my needs, might mean I disappoint other people, and that’s okay, because adults can deal with disappointment."
These quotes can be helpful prompts for journalling and self reflection, or for use with EFT Tapping to strengthen your resolve with creating boundaries.
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