560: How connection helps anxiety
We often receive emails from our listeners about how they are nervous to tell people about their anxiety because they fear being seen as irrational or weak. But, if they avoid talking about anxiety, they also feel isolated. join us for a potent discussion about how you can create more connection in your life and calm anxiety.
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Points covered in this week's episode:
Stigma vs Understanding
The stigma around anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges creates a disconnect which can do great damage. We need to bridge that gap with kind connection.
Understanding doesn't mean full comprehension. It doesn't mean computing and trying to fix it.
It means understanding that somebody you care about is going through something very difficult. Anxiety is confusing and life ruining, we don't need people trying to fix us, we need people to be with us and hear us without judgment.
Judgment makes people withdraw, and that's the last thing we need.
Understanding means being there. Understanding means hearing and caring without judgment.
We are living in an age of disconnection
We spend less time in the company of others, and more time messaging, or on our phones.
And we are often socially disconnected by the pressure to push through and keep going.
And the nature of anxiety and depression, often causes us to isolate.
The pandemic has made this even more prevalent, stoking the fire of fear and health anxiety.
The disconnect caused by technology
Screens are disassociating — we are taking in virtual information through a glass window. This is ungrounding for the mind.
The information we're receiving through our screens is subtle, rapidly changing, sometimes disturbing — all things that provoke the Vata, and can increase anxiety.
High Vata, as excess ether, makes us ungrounded, spaced-out and unrealistic... Our connection with the physical body and with physical reality becomes weakened. We live in our thoughts, which we may confuse with perception. Our life-force gets dispersed by the excess activity of the mind. We lose contact with other people and cannot heed their advice.
- David Frawley, Ayurveda and the Mind
We need to show and receive kindness
Kindness is open, caring, and thoughtful. It's the little things like a cup of tea, some humor, going for a walk together.
Seek friends and family that are warm and kind by nature. Or reach out to our Facebook group and connect with the other members there who understand what you’re going through.
If we are not receiving a kind response to our struggles with anxiety, we have the right to step back from a relationship.
Connection is a two-way experience, when we show kindness to others, or offer support, we are reaching out and making connection. Often that's a more validating experience than hoping and waiting for incoming connection.
We need to connect with our loved ones to feel grounded and safe
In addition to anxiety about the pandemic itself, COVID bought challenges to our mental health through isolation. If you have the opportunity now to be with those you love safely, take it.
Anxiety is eased by hugs and close contact. The sense of touch is important to those of a Vata nature, or those who are Vata disturbed. With that being said, everyone benefits from a big hug from loved ones.
We need to connect with nature
A study by Mind found that 71% of people reported decreased feelings of anxiety and depression after a 30-minute walk in a green environment.
The more present and connected to the details of nature we can make that time, the more we will benefit.
We have both just recorded time in nature practices for our Patreon. Ananga out by the woods with birds and Shann by Lake Michigan. Come and hang out with us if you think it could be helpful to you.
Using our senses to connect with the details of our lives
Ayurveda teaches that the function of our senses is to bring knowledge, or information to the mind.
Dr. Vasant Lad teaches: “Vision is food for the eyes. Sound is food for the ears. Touch is food for the skin. Taste is food for the tongue.”
Often we go about our days on autopilot, we’re not present with our food etc. When we’re living mechanically, going through the motions, our senses are picking up constant stimulation that gets sent to our already over-tired mind for processing. And most of it is useless, constant noise and fleeting images that overstimulate the mind and nerves until we feel exhausted.
Using our senses consciously and being in the present moment is another form of connection that can help anchor us to the moment and our experience in it.
Taste - mindful eating of clean, healthy foods
Smell - the scent of flowers, fresh air, the earth, calming essential oils
Touch - bathing, oil massage, grass on bare feet, hugs
Hearing - calming music, sounds of nature
Sight - soothing colors, trees, water, and flowers. Big sky, open space. Spiritual imagery.
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