539: The first mistake we make with anxiety
This week we’re discussing the first mistake we make when anxiety strikes and what you can do to calm your mind and get back to living your life.
SUBSCRIBE TO THE ANXIETY SLAYER PODCAST:
APPLE PODCASTS | STITCHER | PODBEAN | GOOGLE PODCASTS | SPOTIFY I TUNEIN
TODAY’S ANXIETY SLAYER PODCAST IS SPONSORED BY BETTERHELP.
Are stress and anxiety interfering with your happiness? Have you been considering seeing a therapist but not sure where to start? Betterhelp will assess your counseling needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist so you can start getting the support you need online, in under 24 hours. Special offer for Anxiety Slayer listeners - get 10% off your first month at http://betterhelp.com/slayer
Notes from this week’s episode:
The first mistake we make with anxiety is thinking we can think our way out.
GETTING STUCK IN OUR THOUGHTS
Anxious thoughts are very sticky in nature:
They are very persistent and will keep regenerating and looping around. Breaking in to our quieter moments and disturbing us over and over again.
They are also resistant to change. Anxious thoughts tend to be stubborn and hard to shift. If we try to push them away or force ourselves to not think about something that’s worrying us, the anxious thought will often bounce back with increased energy.
Trying to stop thinking doesn’t work, so we often resort to escapism, and numbing, but the anxiety is always there waiting for us.
“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”
Our thoughts can create anxiety, but they can seldom reverse it
We can think our way into anxiety, but we can't think our way out.
Here's what to do instead
Anxiety can be a very implosive experience, while trying to get through our jobs and personal lives and be seen to be coping we are putting ourselves under immense internal pressure.
The way to relieve anxiety and its relentless thoughts is to externalize it. To get it out of our heads in a safe and self-respecting way.
Airing our anxious thoughts is an important first step in finding relief.
We need to stop trying to think our way out and start taking action to understand and release our anxiety.
There are a variety of ways to do this, some will appeal more than others, we need to consider what feels right for us.
Working with a counselor — like the people at Better Help
Working with an anxiety coach — get help from someone who's been there and can offer support and techniques to help you calm anxiety
Both approaches have their merits, and it can be helpful to try a session and see how you feel.
We tend to have a very stigmatized view of mental health in the West, it’s getting better, but still, we use terms like disorder rather than the more compassionate response of understanding the cause and effect of disturbance in the mind.
Anxiety is a response, trauma is a response, it’s often a situational reaction, or a result of accumulative stress that reached a tipping point. Even if we have an anxious nature it’s not a flaw or disorder, it’s a tendency that can be supported. And should be supported.
Talking with someone who is compassionate, confidential, and able to share coping skills and resources with you breaks the hold of anxious thoughts on the mind.
Anxiety can hold us in a state of fear like a child who believes there’s a monster under their bed. Talking turns the light on. We then have the opportunity, with help, to explore our anxiety patterns and discover ways to support ourselves in feeling calm and in control.
Writing also helps. It’s another way of getting the thoughts out of our head. We can journal our thoughts by free-writing them out.
Walking and talking is another way to externalize and move stuck anxious thoughts. We might walk and talk to ourselves to air and clear our stuck thoughts, or walk with a trusted friend.
You can release anxious thoughts and we are here to help!
May is Mental Health Awareness Month
Get any or all of our First Responder Series Courses for Anxiety Attacks, Health Anxiety or Social Anxiety for 25% off the regular price through the end of May with the coupon code: Spring2021