473: Social Anxiety: You do not have to suffer in silence

Today's Anxiety Slayer podcast is brought to you by our brand new course, The Anxiety Slayer First Responder Series for Social Anxiety

Learn how to care for yourself with guided tapping sessions, affirmations, supportive commentary and our favorite Bach flower remedies for Social Anxiety

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This week we're talking about how to care for yourself if you suffer from social anxiety and introduce our new course designed to support anyone who suffers in social settings.

The question we hear most about social anxiety

The question we hear most about social anxiety is does anybody else feel this way?

• Is it just me that gets anxiety attacks at a crowded event?

• Or am I the only one who can't eat in front of people?

And our answer is no, you're not alone. You're not the only one. Social anxiety is common and it's becoming increasingly common in our loud and fast society and with social media driving certain expectations.

Social anxiety is estimated to affect 15 million American adults and is the third most common mental health challenge in the United States.

There is comfort in knowing we're not alone, but we can do better than that. We can start learning how to care for ourselves and calm social anxiety. EFT Tapping and Bach Flower Remedies are two very effective ways to calm social anxiety generally and to address personal challenges like shaking, going red, not feeling comfortable making eye contact, fear of speaking in front of others, or being judged.

Many people who experience social anxiety suffer in silence. Believing their fears to be irrational, and themselves to be at fault.

But studies show that social anxiety is a fully treatable condition that can be overcome with the right support.

And that's what our new course is all about. Getting effective support to anyone suffering with social anxiety in the comfort of their own home.

Two root causes of social anxiety

1. Our nature

2. Past experiences

Neither are a disorder, or a character flaw and both can be supported and relieved.

1. Nature

Statistics show that one-third of us are introvert by nature. We are the quieter third, the ones who like small groups or one-to-one interactions, who like to read, walk in nature, listen to music and are happy in the quiet comfort of our own homes.

Ayurveda (India's ancient science of life) reveals three different mind/body types. One of these types, vata, is more prone to anxiety than the others. Vata is disturbed by noise, movement, change and tends to be self-conscious or nervous socially. The vata type can feel shaky and nauseous under duress.

The vata type is also funny, creative, quick-witted, adaptable and wonderful company when they are in an environment that doesn't throw them off balance.

Being vata isn't a bad thing, it can be wonderful to be a vata. Ayurveda teaches us how to discover the cards we've been dealt as our mind/body type and how to play them well. Self-understanding and self-compassion is key.

Knowing how to eat and live according to Ayurveda helps us get the very best out of our nature. Knowing we are prone to anxiety invites compassion, and along with that understanding, we have the opportunity to explore the many things we can do to support ourselves in feeling less anxious, nervous or shaky socially or anywhere.

2. Past negative social experiences 

Fear of humiliation or rejection are two huge fears that most people will do anything to avoid. They are very real and often sit at the root of social anxiety.

Sometimes that fear has a basis in protecting us - that protection might not seem obvious like feeling anxiety when you get close to the edge of a cliff - fear in social anxiety might come from a memory.

If we have felt humiliated or rejected in a group setting in the past, anxiety will manifest as a warning to us. When the symptoms of anxiety show in our body as shallow breathing, or a fast heart, shaking, or sweating, our subconscious mind may be sensing danger, which increases adrenaline and other stress hormones that trigger symptoms.

This happens because your subconscious mind is saying "Don't go there, you'll get hurt." Your mind is flagging situations that look close to a last event where you felt the pain of humiliation or rejection and sending a warning to you via a growing sense of unease and anxiety that it's not safe for you to put yourself in that situation again.

Fortunately, once we understand this we can use EFT Tapping to diffuse the pain and trauma of last bad social experiences and come to the point of telling our mind "thank you for your concern, but I've got this. I know how to handle things differently this time."

Once you know how to do it you can clear painful memories and feel calmer and in the present in any social situation, and you can learn exactly how to do that inside the course.